I have been struggling with relationships for many years. I have had a few long term ones, and more recently some short term ones. I find that I suffer with an anxious attachment style and seem to continually attract, or be attracted to, avoidant people. Despite doing lots of work on myself for the past decade, including seeing a counsellor (which I do once a month), I feel that I am struggling to maintain any healthy romantic relationships.
I am 42 years old, nearly 43, and seem to have a concern that I may never find anyone to share my life with. It upsets me that the world seem orientated around sex, love and relationships as it is a constant reminder that I am alone. I do suffer with being lonely and apart from going to the gym or to attend a running event, I rarely venture out for social reasons.
It all feels a bit much and recently I have been wondering what the point is to everything that I do and wish to achieve in life. I see so many of my friends getting married, having kids and spending time with their families. I envy this, but then they say they envy my freedom to do what I want, when I want. The grass is always greener.
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